Sick

Last Thursday I tried to get a second-opinion appointment at Dana-Farber with the breast oncologist most recommended by Dr. C., my oncologist, and was told she didn’t take walk-ins, only special requests by other oncologists. So I asked Dr. C. to contact her. He did, she said yes by e-mail on Saturday, and I have an appointment at noon on Friday. So I guess I’m feeling special.

I keep puzzling over what, exactly, requires my actual presence in this second-opinion process (Eric says I should just reread my mom’s book for the answer). I may have questions for her, but in terms of what she needs to know about me, exactly why do I need to show up in front of her? Nevertheless, I’m going. We’re going.

Yesterday Dr. P. the surgeon called while I was out school shopping with Will. She said the final path. report from the re-excision showed “a single minute group of atypical cells consistent with ductal carcinoma,” only showing on the permanent (staining?) and not the frozen section analysis (that they did while I was in surgery).

Yeesh.

She said she’d talk with Dr. C. the oncologist on Tuesday and get back to us with what they thought should happen next. We assume this means that more surgery is not a given. What does “minute” mean? Is this classed like in the nodes, “microscopic” and “submicroscopic” with the latter kind of not counting? More to learn…

Here is what my oncologist is leaning towards: taxotere/cyclophosphamide

because “TC (docetaxel/cyclophosphamide, 4 cycles) has a superior disease-free survival compared to standard AC (doxorubicin/cyclophosphamide) in 1016 women with early stage breast cancer.”

I like that 4 cycles. I would be done by Thanksgiving.

I don’t like being the center of attention. I don’t like giving people bad news. This is not a good recipe for someone who has to go around announcing that she has breast cancer again. Silver Bay, where there were maybe 50 people who needed to be told, was getting a bit agonizing.

Hi, how are you? Oh, I’ve been better.

Eric told a few people. I told a few people. Spee and Sandy mercifully went around telling some of our friends so I wouldn’t have to…what a relief! I felt so taken care of.

Here is a timeline of this summer’s breast-cancer adventure:

Late May: found lumpy area in left breast. This was only the second time since my first breast cancer in 1995 that anything had worried me–and the first was in ‘97 or ‘98.

Early June: went to midwife for annual exam, she agreed area felt worrisome, said to wait a couple of weeks and then (if it didn’t go away) get an ultrasound and a surgical consultation. Waited 6 days, didn’t want to wait anymore (I’ve never had cyclical lumpiness), scheduled ultrasound